January 25, 2012

The speculative world of Newt Gingrich, author

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Strange, but for all his suaveness in the 7,394 debates that have taken place so far between the Republican candidates, and despite his generally prolix nature when it comes to talking about himself, Newt Gingrich has thus far in the campaign failed to tout what is perhaps his most important accomplishment in an, er, accomplishment-filled life: Yes, I’m talking about his authorship of numerous books of speculative fiction and alternative history, books such as the impressively double-coloned Never Call Retreat: Lee and Grant: The Final Victory, part of a series in which the South wins the Civil War, and Pearl Harbor: A Novel of December 8, from his series about World War II. (Both from St. Martin’s Press, and both of which sold close to 100,000 copies overall, according to Bookscan.)

Well, Gingrich himself may be shy about these books, but thank God an anonymous fan isn’t: Someone has started a Twitter page called @gingrichfiction to celebrate the revealing nature of these masterful works.

For example, it gives this “excerpt” from one of his World War II books:

“His Satanic rituals complete, President Roosevelt resumed work on the architecture of The New Deal.”

Then there’s this one, which must be from one of the Civil War books:

“With the Confederate army marching toward Washington, cowardly president Lincoln shouted ‘every man for himself!’ and fled to France.”

Gingrich Fiction also includes helpful anouncements, such as this one:

due to popular demand, Newt’s novel “Brown v. Board of Education, Overturned?” is in its sixth printing. thanks, readers!

Mostly, though, it’s just classic excerpts, such as this one, which must be from one of his — well, from a more modern tale of some kind:

“‘If the Soviets get to the moon first,’ Nixon intoned gravely, ‘they’ll have the rights to all the moon gold for the next 400 years!'”

 

 

Dennis Johnson is the founder of MobyLives, and the co-founder and co-publisher of Melville House. Follow him on Twitter at @mobylives

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