December 2, 2016
The news really has been pretty bad; here are a few reasons to smile
by Melville House
Listen, the world has been very garbagey lately. While there are glimmers of hope on the horizon, they tend toward the sort of long-term. Many of us could use a smile, stat. Here are a few dumb news stories and amazing songs to give you something other than you-know-who to talk about this weekend.
1. Smoke the Hunter S. Blend
Anita Thompson, the widow of beer-non-deliverer, Hemingway’s-antler-stealer, current-predicament-foreseer, gonzo journalist, and avowed reefer-lover Hunter S. Thompson, has announced on her Facebook page that she’s “found a legal method to extract the DNA from Hunter’s personal marijuana and hashish that I saved for 12-15 years. I am in the process of making the strains available to those who would like to enjoy the authentic Gonzo strains in legal states.” (Thompson lives in Colorado, where—pending directives from Attorney General Sessions (brief descent into sobbing)—one may legally smoke what Hunter smoked.) Thompson added, “Although the the ‘drug lord’ phrase is silly as it doesn’t match my personality, I am looking forward to making the authentic strains available in legal states to support the Farm and the scholarships.” Hey, if it’s for a good cause…
2. Take a Chance on Chicago
Flow disciple and wholly excellent Midwesterner Chance the Rapper has been tapped to write the introduction to Kevin Coval’s forthcoming People’s History of Chicago, a book of poems celebrating the stormy, husky, brawling city of the big shoulders. He got the juice, he got the juice.
3. Drink in the Books
After a visit to Spain where, according to one of his bartenders, he grew “morbidly fascinated” with a restaurant that served “candied page fragments,” Derek Brown, owner of a DC restaurant called the Columbia Room that you cannot afford to visit, has finally breached the books-booze barrier. The restaurant’s new menu features, as the closing act in a seventy-nine-dollar tasting menu consisting of three drink “courses,” a mixture called “In Search of Time Past,” which consists of armagnac, vintage p.x., porcini cordial, eucalyptus, and… old books? According to Jessica Sidman of the Washingtonian, the books (of which Brown “doesn’t remember the titles”) were “were vacuum-sealed with grapeseed oil, then the infusion was fat-washed with a neutral high-proof spirit.” The restaurant’s menu says it tastes like “chocolate shiso leaf, cardamom, sassafras, forest floor aroma.” Ok. Reports on another drink, made by spitting an In Search of Time Past in someone’s face and called a “Moby Schmuck,” are unconfirmed.
4. It could not possibly hurt just to shake it a little bit:
The only actual thing this song has to do with the incoming administration is that it’s completely dope:
Yes. Yes. Yes? Yes:
A little too on the nose:
This one is offered, with hope, to Melania, as a plan of action for the next four years:
And if this one hasn’t got easy to watch since Sharon Jones’s passing, it hasn’t stopped grooving its ass off, either — or become any less true: