November 24, 2016
Spend Thanksgiving buying books on your computer!
by Melville House
As the great Donald Barthelme wrote, many gray Novembers ago:
At last, it is time to speak the truth about Thanksgiving. The truth is this: it is not a really great holiday. Consider the imagery. Dried cornhusks hanging on the door! Terrible wine! Cranberry jelly in little bowls of extremely doubtful provenance which everyone is required to handle with the greatest of care! Consider the participants, the merrymakers. Men and women (also children) who have survived passably well through the years, mainly as a result of living at considerable distances from their dear parents and beloved siblings, who on this feast of feasts must apparently forgather (as if beckoned by an aberrant Fairy Godmother), usually by circuitous routes, through heavy traffic, at a common meeting place, where the very moods, distempers, and obtrusive personal habits that have kept them happily apart since adulthood are then and there encouraged to slowly ferment beneath the cornhusks, and gradually rise with the aid of the terrible wine, and finally burst forth out of control under the stimulus of the cranberry jelly! No, it is a mockery of a holiday.
We’re here to say: be mocked by this day no longer! Suffer its congealed cranberry indignities not one moment more!
Or at least just know that, when you inevitably hit peak family, go one forkful over the line, or lock yourself in a bathroom to be alone for three minutes, our Black Friday Sale is now on like Donkey Kong.
Everything we sell—every book, shirt, tote, and mug—will be available for an additional 20% off our already discounted prices, for a total of forty percent off, through tomorrow night.
Let’s say, for example, you wanted a deal on all of the greatest novellas ever made? We can come to an arrangement here.
Or perhaps you wish to acquire a complete run of last interviews? They are awash in affordableness.
Or is it the mighty Neversink Library that calls to you? I think you see where we’re going with this.
You can get a full hundred dollars off the limited edition of David Peace’s masterpiece Red or Dead.
For that matter, all of our new and old books! Beachwear for thinking persons! Stuff that holds other stuff! The number-two thing in the world to drink coffee out of (#1 is a Fabergé egg, stolen heist-movie style and bisected with a laser beam).
All of it. Everything. Go crazy.