April 10, 2018
Some historical insight into C.D. Rose’s Who’s Who When Everyone Is Somebody Else, on sale today
by Certainly Not C.D. Rose
As part of our ongoing interest in the nature of the events surrounding the tale told in C.D. Rose’s Who’s Who When Everyone Is Someone Else, on sale today, we were lucky enough to come across some old editions of the local newspaper in a city where Rose spent three months. Perusing what seemed to be the “Forthcoming Events” section (nestled between the “Births,” “Marriages,” “Deaths,” and “More Deaths” sections), we came across the following article, which may be of interest to readers. (NB We used a well-known translation engine to decipher it.)
Literature vultures! Culture crows! Think you’re smart because you’ve read lots of books? Well how smart would you be if you knew about loads of books no one has ever read?
We are now welcoming to our city a Dr. C.D. Rose, who has written one book which some Americans thought was a good idea.
The so-called Doctor is going to give a series of open lectures on the theme of “Great Lost Books.”
Though the Doctor has failed to provide an outline of his lectures, or a reading list, or any further information at all (being probably another lazy academic or self-confessed “writer”), we are looking forward to learned discussions of Anatoly Anatolin’s What Story Down There Awaits its End?, George Glaciate-Furbisher’s Flenge’s Dictum, or Peeter-Karl Umlaut’s My Very Long Life, titles the Doctor will surely address. (And we hope he won’t go on about boring old Guyavitch!)
Voices in the rabbit warren have told us that affairs at our Esteemed University have not been easy recently, so this is their chance to show us that they are Of The People.
We have to inform you, however, that the supposed Dr. Rose did not arrive as expected at the Terminal Central Station, where we had a photographer waiting for him. We hereby print a picture of someone else entirely. While we assume the Doctor has now arrived, we cannot be sure, so if you turn up to his lecture and there is no one there, your carrots, not ours, so please don’t send in any more of those stupid letters to us.