Ron Boire, fired millionaire

Earlier this year, we reported on how Ken Bone look-a-like Ron Boire had been asked to leave his position as Barnes & Noble CEO after less than one year on the job. Now, as a result of that shocking decision, Publishers Weekly’s Jim Milliot reports that Boire will receive $4.8 million in severance pay — which is approximately $4.8 million more than I made “exceeding expectations” at Barnes & Noble for nearly a decade. Amazing!

At the time of Boire’s dismissal, it was noted that the former Sears Canada CEO was a “poor fit” for the company. In light of the bookstore chain’s six-point loss in the first quarter of 2016, which was reported in mid-September, this might translate as “did not make money” or “made decisions that led to things that are not money.” To be clear, I don’t know what CEOs actually do, but I think trying to make money is a top priority. I think.

Anyway, for someone who is ostensibly bad at making money, Boire did a really good job of making money off getting fired! Now, for those of you who do not know, getting fired is, or is supposed to be, bad. It means you did a bad job at your job, and so you don’t get a regular paycheck anymore. For example, whenever I get fired I have to sell all my furniture in order to continue to eat the food I need to survive. Boire, on the other hand, boss that he is, made nearly five million dollars off a company that is famously not doing so hot right now.

What is the world and how does it work?

About the settlement, Barnes & Noble (“The Company” in cryptic legal jargon) stated the following, which might have been written by a robot:

The Company regrets that things did not work out for the longer term between Mr. Boire and the Company. The Company appreciates Mr. Boire’s efforts on behalf of the Company, and the Company wishes Mr. Boire the best going forward.

Very cool! Sounds like everyone will remain friends.

Barnes & Noble is currently looking for a new CEO, with founder Len Riggio acting in the position for the time being. Update those resumes, CEOS of the world — and prepare to get paid whether you do a good job or not!