July 5, 2016
Brexit is nigh as the UK divides — unbeknownst to a certain mangled apricot hellbeast…
by Nikki Griffiths
It has happened—Britain is facing a Brexit situation, with 51.9% of the population voting to leave the European Union. So was happens next? The future is widely uncertain. Before the official divorce proceedings can start, Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty needs to be triggered by the government, officially giving the UK two years to extricate themselves from the EU. The button hasn’t yet been pressed. What is clear is that the country faces deep divisions. Scotland voted 62% to remain, London 59.9%, and Northern Ireland 55.8%. Nicola Sturgeon, First Minister of Scotland and the leader of the Scottish National Party, has vowed to protect Scotland’s place in the EU and has said the Scottish Government will commence preparations for another independence vote. While this is all common knowledge that has been widely reported, by amongst others the BBC and the Independent, during Donald Trump’s recent visit to Scotland for the opening of his new golf course, he tweeted this gem:
Just arrived in Scotland. Place is going wild over the vote. They took their country back, just like we will take America back. No games!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 24, 2016
As you might expect, Twitter exploded in an array of amazement and pure hatred for the presidential candidate, resulting in some excellent wordplay. Nothing like a bit of hatred to get the creative juices flowing. Here are my top five favorite insults:
@realDonaldTrump SCOTLAND VOTED TO STAY, YOU WITLESS FUCKING COCKSPLAT! — Tim Footman (@CulturalSnow) June 24, 2016
.@realDonaldTrump Scotland voted overwhelmingly to stay in Europe you toupéd fucktrumpet
— Finn den Hertog (@FinndH) June 24, 2016
Scotland voted to stay & plan on a second referendum, you tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon. https://t.co/iKyEIxf8ej — Hamfisted Bun Vendor (@MetalOllie) June 24, 2016
@realDonaldTrump they voted IN you absolute fucking doughnut. A future leader? You couldn’t lead an OAP egg and spoon race.
— Ayden Callaghan (@AydenCallaghan) June 24, 2016
Scotland hates both Brexit and you, you mangled apricot hellbeast @realDonaldTrump — Nina B (@queenbernstein) June 24, 2016
Please America, take heed of what is going on here across the pond and make sure you cast your vote, else the toupéd fucktrumpet is coming for you… We’ll be publishing a book on his true atrocities, The Making of Donald Trump, this August.
PS Don’t Donald and Boris make a beautiful couple? Don’t let this happen, folks.
Nikki Griffiths is the managing director of Melville House UK.