August 16, 2016

Because we could not stop for Trump—


It’s Tuesday again, and that means it’s time for another installment of Terrible Trump Poems, a self-explanatory series of exuberantly horrendous writing guaranteed to break the air conditioner of your soul. I’m so, so sorry. And now, without further ado:


Because we could not stop for Trump—
He kindly stopped for us—
The Catchphrases he grunted forth
Were all Inglorious.

He quickly talked—Devoid of facts
And we had put away
Our civic hope and reason too,
For His Depravity

We reached Cleveland, where B-listers
At rostra—rose to speak—
We learned what Charles in Charge had thunk
Smelled Giuliani’s stink

But mostly—They scared Us
With Speech alarming and Unwell—
For only Xenophobes could cheer—
His plan—To build the Wall

His Hatred for Obama seemed
Much more about Himself—
For ISIS has no MVP
And Trump’s is—Just Himself

It feels like Centuries—and yet
It’s only been a Year
How can it be Election Day
Is yet so very Far



Ian Dreiblatt is the director of digital media at Melville House.