Noel Gallagher: What’s the story?

Working within the time-honoured tradition of pre-Christmas expensively produced gift-oriented music books (see also in the coming months: Amy Winehouse; Michael Jackson; Morrissey), Noel Gallagher has announced a book, as reported by Andrew Trendell in the NME this week. The former Oasis songwriter’s first foray into publishing, the catchily-titled Any Road Will Get Us There (If We Don’t Know Where We’re Going) is a lavish prospect, featuring a collection of photographs by Sharon Latham, and tells the story of Gallagher’s current band, The High Flying Birds, as they tour their most recent record, the Mercury Music Prize-nominated Who Built The Moon? Latham, the former official photographer to Manchester City football club, was granted unprecedented access as Noel and the band embarked on their 72-date world tour. The synopsis promises us the faintly terrifying prospect of ‘Noel Gallagher as you’ve never seen him before’.

What we’re all waiting for, of course, is the early-days memoir. Him and Liam, the Gallagher lads, touring Definitely Maybe, staying up for 96 hours straight, living off nothing but Stella Artois and Nik-Naks. Appearing on The Big Breakfast and taking the piss out of Zig and Zag while pretending to drink from enormous, obviously empty mugs. Playing to the entire population of the UK over three nights at Knebworth. Wearing hats that look like they could fit about three people in. You know the kind of thing.

Seeing as that doesn’t exist yet, however, we’ll have to make do with the tantalising prospect of Lena Dunham‘s upcoming ‘psychological exploration’ of the Gallagher brothers, in association with musician Ben Lee. It seems Dunham watched the superb Oasis documentary Supersonic and just had to talk about it on stage with some other famous people (on November 18th, at the Coronet in LA). “I watched the Oasis documentary and I have a LOT of big opinions about the Gallagher brothers’ relationship! I’m a Noel btw!!!” she tweeted. Audiences are promised a night of Oasis-related performances and readings. It costs $40 to get in. I suspect it will be a lot of fun, but also: lots of other things also cost $40. Just saying.

Anyway I predict a lot of rock-dads will be getting Any Road Will Get Us There… in their stocking this Christmas. And seeing as it’s Gallagher senior’s debut book, we could probably get away with calling it… The First Noël!! Thank you and good night!!