SLIDE SHOW: Ten best cake heads of the Leveson Inquiry
by Ellie Robins
Oh, gleeful gleeful. What could possibly make the Murdoch comeuppance even sweeter? Cakes, I say, cakes! Miss Cakehead at Eat Your Heart Out, purveyors of deliciously bad-taste cakes, furnishes us with fifteen cake pops (cakes on lollipop sticks, obv) themed on the Leveson inquiry and its various heroes and villains. Oh, and Jeremy Paxman. Here they are:
Once eaten, this cake turns into a real piece of shit.
The real James Murdoch lives on the moon, with his eyes closed and his fingers in his ears, so if you want to punch him you might have to make do with thumping this cake instead.
Savvy enough to manoeuvre her way into the Murdoch inner sanctum. Not savvy enough to avoid getting arrested. Haha.
The star of the select committee. Impressive hair (not so much in real life).
Robert Jay QC
Lead counsel in the inquiry. During Piers Morgan’s questioning, Jay famously asked him to explain the difference between a paedophile and someone who runs a switchboard.
Slimeball hack-turned-TV personality. Possibly even more smug IRL than he looks here.
Just when you thought David Cameron couldn’t get any more embarrassing, his BFF Rebekah Brooks reveals to a parliamentary select committee that he thinks ‘LOL’ means ‘lots of love’ — and that this was his usual sign-off to her.
Lord Justice Leveson
Chairman of the inquiry.
Jeremy Hunt, the Culture Secretary. Never has a spoonerism been more apt. Tried to push through the Murdochs’ BSkyB takeover bid. AKA ‘daddy’ in a series of excruciating texts to James Murdoch’s fluffer, Fred Michel.
Editor of Private Eye who gave evidence at the hearing. Really weird head.
Husband of Rebekah and friend of David Cameron, arrested for conspiracy to pervert the course of justice. Also friends with Jeremy Clarkson. Clearly a terrible judge of personality.
The former News of the World editor and workplace bully who presided over a culture of phone hacking before being hired by David Cameron.
In bed with Rebekah Brooks and the Murdochs. Also a lizard.
BBC presenter and total hardarse, who told the Leveson inquiry that Piers Morgan explained to him how to hack phones ten years ago.
Ellie Robins is an editor at Melville House. Previously, she was managing editor of Hesperus Press.