Melville House offers rookie first-time kids author biggest deal ever

Melville House announced today that it has offered wannabe children’s book author Stephen Colbert its biggest deal ever for a first book. After hearing Colbert describe his proposed illustrated children’s book, I Am A Pole, And You Can Too—the story of a lost pole that ultimately finds its purpose in life as a flagpole for the U.S. flag-–the company immediately offered the amateur scribe $500.

“That’s far more than we offered our authors Tao Lin and Bernard-Henri Levy, and even Imre Kertesz, and hell, he won the Nobel Prize,” said Melville House editor-in-chief Dennis Johnson. ”But although Colbert is a complete unknown in the children’s book world, he comes with some good blurbs, so we thought what the hell. We don’t know anything about kids’ books either.”

Johnson’s mention that the book already had “good blurbs” was a reference to praise I Am A Pole received during a 2 part conversation between Colbert and the renowned children’s book author Maurice Sendak [see below], wherein Sendak said of Colbert’s proposed book, “The sad thing is, I like it.”

Melville House is also offering a one-time signing bonus to the lucky writer. “We thought we’d take him out for pizza,” said Melville House publisher Valerie Merians. “See if we can loosen him up a little. He looked awful tense talking to a pro like Sendak.”

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10 Comments

Cnlundahl at 11:03 am on January 27, 2012

This made my day.
Raquel B. Pidal at 11:59 am on January 27, 2012

Things like this are why I adore you beautiful people at Melville House. (This and the fact that you liked my terrible penguin joke about cold feet enough to send me a free book!) XOXO!
Lrflores at 12:11 pm on January 27, 2012

I saw that interview on TV. It was hilarious!
Sandy Farmer at 1:15 pm on January 27, 2012

I love it. Thank you for the giggle.
Sue at 1:19 pm on January 27, 2012

That was a great interview. For about 2 seconds I worried that Maurice Sendak looked like an old fool but No Way. He was so sharp.
Melville House, excellent move making this lucrative offer to this newbie author.
Sue at 1:19 pm on January 27, 2012

That was a great interview. For about 2 seconds I worried that Maurice Sendak looked like an old fool but No Way. He was so sharp.
Melville House, excellent move making this lucrative offer to this newbie author.
Anonymous at 3:32 pm on January 27, 2012

Good luck, but SNL tried it when they offered the Beatles $1000 smackers to reunite on their program and it never worked out.
Wayne W at 6:06 pm on January 27, 2012

Maurice Sendak for President! Colbert for VP.
Linda at 10:48 pm on January 27, 2012

I’ll be first in line to purchase it.
Jeff A at 12:34 pm on January 30, 2012

Maurice Sendak is always a great interview. He has afforded himself the ability to speak exactly as he see it. Well deserved.